So I just got done writing the postcards I promised and am happy to send. On each of them I sincerely included words of some sort basically to say "am having lot's of fun; wish you were here."
And I am having lots of fun. Well, at the very least I am having lots of interest. Things are different and interesting here. And I do wish everyone could be here with me. But the truth is, I wish everyone were here with me so I would feel less lonely.
I've done a lot of difficult things in life all by myself, with little help from anyone. Traveling abroad is not something that is supposed to be hard. It's supposed to be fun. And I just feel lonely and homesick. I felt confident and wise back home. Abroad, I feel tiny...I feel shocked that my confidence back home was perhaps artificial. Context-limited. Delusional.
Just want to be honest with everyone about how I feel about traveling so far. I don't want to put on a fake happy face and go on and on about how much fun I am having because that is what might be expected of me. I feel like I am letting my homies down - who don't get this awesome opportunity to break away from their lives for weeks and weeks to see something new in the world - because this doesn't quite feel "fun" yet.
Ok, enough of that, it's picture time (next post).
Love,
Eva
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